I feel so incredibly physically vulnerable these days. Dec 9th, 2 days from now is my 2 year anniversary of H1N1, steroids and disability and illness. I am so much weaker and in rough shape compared to how I was. I am never sure how much I can handle in one day. I have decided to wake up every day and say "I'm sick" and do what I can....if it's sitting then so be it. Try much harder to manage my spoons. No plans for tomorrow so rest will be good. I'm not as good at it as I would like to be. I have so much I want to do. I have so much support, especially from my spoonies, Kara & my mom but I worry that I rely on my mom too much.
Also missing my Dad more and more as Christmas approaches. One day at a time when it comes to that, right.....
I know I can struggle and accept this...it is just so difficult. I really want to know if I'll ever get better or if I'll ever be able to stay off this couch for more than a couple hours. Or if I can stop with so many meds that only kind of help.
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