Roller coaster week

This has been such a physically and emotionally charged week for me so far.....I wonder how much of it is due to the full moon which always impacts me.  Sunday was especially hard.  The day started with me and my mom on the phone to Disney to plan a 3 night DVC members only cruise for Jan 2013.  I was so excited to get through right away and then get the trip booked.  Then I realized how much my dad would have loved it and really started to cry.  After pulling myself back together, I went to the CFD kid's Christmas party that Mike & I plan every year.  I used to be way more involved with the setup but due to my lungs, I can't do it anymore.  I just do some ordering of crafts & make sure he has everything he needs.  The party was wonderful and the kids had a blast which was the point and every year it grows a little bit bigger which is great, but my dad was Santa last year....missed him a lot.  Not the same without him.  That is what is toughest about these holidays.  He LOVED them and was so involved in everything we did.  Trying out the new normal is okay, but just not easy.  Then I get home and get online and find out that one of my friends from the SARP group died from asthma/copd complications.  This hit me HARD after the day I had had and hit WAY to close to home.  She was only 40.  Had had severe asthma much longer than I have but the reality that this illness kills us is scary.  I'm not ready to die!!!!  I will not before my time!!!  I will survive and be as strong as I can for my daughters, husband, mother, brother and friends.  I have a great doctor who is trying everything to keep me from getting any worse.  It's funny, b/c as sick as I am, that is possible.

I started yet another sinus infection yesterday or the day before, not sure, and at least I know what to expect...overnight nebs with vomiting phlem, more nebs through the day and less energy.  What makes me nervous is that I got sick this time last year as well and ended up in the hospital only getting discharged on Christmas Eve.  I don't want to go through that again.  I'm hoping that the BT procedures I put myself through this year will help me avoid any of that mess......I have to finish the wrapping b/c Mike has NO IDEA what I got for who...he never does....Christmas morning is as much of a surprise for him as it is the girls lol.....we used to go shopping together but I have learned that it is not fun to do so I avoid that now and do it on my own.  This year much of it was online but some was in the stores. 

I hope to make it through the holidays without hospitalization....please let that be possible for me...That's all I want for Christmas....honestly.