This last recovery from the 3rd thermoplasty has been really much too slow for my liking....trying to taper, slowly is also taking it's toll. And missing my dad while decorating his house and thinking about Thanksgiving has been really rough emotionally which I KNOW is impacting my ability to breathe.
I just want it all to be enough the way it used to be. I haven't been to therapy in a month b/c of my health and really need to go but have to wait another week. I want to be enough. I know in my head that everyone thinks I am, I just need to believe it myself too.
All the pain I've been in has made me have absolutely no patience with my girls who are not listening only b/c they are so excited about the holidays which is NORMAL but not fun at all. I HATE yelling at them but it is starting to happen way too often b/c I have to tell them 4 times to do something simple like wash before dinner.. we wash before EVERY MEAL EVERY DAY!! Not new.....yet I'm turning into someone I don't like b/c I yell.
Okay...gonna end on a positive...I am enough...my girls will grow to understand it's okay to get mad...I do apologize for yelling.....I am worth it....I can do this...
Yes you are, and yes you can. It is so hard to feel like you've lost yourself. But you haven't really, not the real, essential part of you... that's still there, even if you lose your patience more quickly than you used to. What's amazing is that you can still find love and beauty and gratitude and hope. xo
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