Diabetes

So what a rough week...diagnosed w/ diabetes officially on Tuesday which while I was "expecting" it, it makes a difference b/c I'm just sicker than I was 6 months ago.  And I have yet another "system" that doesn't work.  So I saw the doc & they put me on metformin which made me violently ill so taken off that and given victoza which worked much better yesterday.  BUT, I'm an emotional wreck.....I hate this body...I hate that even though I know it is "trying", that there is nothing I can do but keep fighting.  I hate steroids.  They are saving and killing me at the same time. 

I felt better after therapy yesterday and we talked about how important it was for me to "touch" my pain and see it and feel it and move through it.  Do not deny it or say "no really, it's okay".  B/c it's not.  Ever.  I have days but my overall life is not okay.....I worry about Mike & my mom b/c I know what it's like to be a mom to Katie w/ her issues and how frustrating and helpless it feels. 

I do my "grounding" all day to keep me sane and avoid the panic attacks I feel sometimes when things get to be too much.  Writing, reading, blogging, fb....all these work to keep me sane.  I pray it will get easier...just not sure when or how...